I look back at the snapshots of that life and it was beautiful from the outside, a happy couple, two beautiful and healthy boys, a comfortable home, and good family and friends. Life was full of good things but inside I felt lost in my own life.
And then that life was gone. The happy couple became individuals, the home was sold and yet, here I sit four years later on a rainy Saturday morning and the snapshot of my life profoundly different but joy dances in my heart and into the rhythms of my life.
Four and a half years ago, I woke-up to the truth that I can either let life happen to me or I can choose to live the life I’m created for, a life that is more then just surviving each day. God knew what He was doing when He made me. I am not an accident and nor are the gifts and talents He has given me. And neither are you.
I avoided the task like I do with everything else I don’t want to do. I stayed busy. I cleaned the bathroom. I baked. I went for runs. I did homework duty with passion, drove taxi between football and soccer practices and when I could no longer run away from it, I sat down late one night and started writing.
The first sentence was hard. The second one easier and then it started to flow out of me. I didn’t stop to read what I’d written and if the absurdity of what I was dreaming threatened my writing, I pushed through and kept writing. I laughed out loud at some of the ideas that came out and cried tears for others that felt absolutely impossible. And then I walked away from it.
A few days later, I met with a life coach I was working with. She asked if she could read my dream to me. Nervousness immediately filled my heart nevertheless a very hesitant yes came out of my mouth. As Melissa read my dream, tears streamed down my face as I heard the beautiful reality that was living inside me. And really as she read, that’s what it became, not a dream but a reality. When I wrote down what seemed impossible, when I gave voice to the dreams inside, I made the first step in knowing the next place to move in creating life from the core of who I am and not from the perfect picture I spent years hiding behind.
To dream is to dare to live life to the fullest. To give voice to the dreams is the first step in the possibility of impossible dreams.
Its been a few months since I first wrote my impossible dream. I am starting to see pieces of this new reality show up in my life and guess what…its absolutely beautiful.